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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23769622">swerve</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/emoviolent/pseuds/emoviolent'>emoviolent</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>John Wick (Movies), Polar (2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Divergence, Daddy Kink, Domestic Fluff, Dry Humping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Finger Sucking, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Retirement, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:01:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,701</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23769622</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/emoviolent/pseuds/emoviolent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>When was the last time you could feel this way?” Duncan doesn’t know why he asks but it feels important in order to offer support.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>“Don’t know.” John inches his right hand to his mouth and presses his thumb to his lower lip. “It’s been a while. Doesn’t matter; it was too long ago. I’m a different person now.”</i></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>John is struggling with settling into retirement and Duncan is worried.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Wick/Duncan Vizla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>swerve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i just think they’re nice :•)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John doesn’t surprise Duncan anymore when he becomes distant. Waves of emotional turmoil wash over the shores of his mind once in a while - it isn’t often but when it happens it isn’t pretty. John is a silent sufferer, taking his pain in stride and hiding it behind a resolve of stoicism that not even Duncan can crack. Their interactions become hollow, void of true passion, and he mentally cannibalizes himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Duncan knows this will pass because it always does but he wishes he could do something more than watch idly. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite being snapped out of sleep, Duncan doesn’t react when John crawls into bed past midnight once again, limbs and eyelids equal parts heavy. The bed frame creaks and the mattress dips under the shift in weight as John settles next to Duncan. Duncan doesn’t bother with rolling over to face John nor does he attempt to reach out to wrap an arm around his waist. His eye burns with the effort. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sleep begins to take him once again until he feels a familiar set of hands rubbing against his chest, calloused and warm. John presses against Duncan and nuzzles his face against the back of his neck. Duncan chuckles as his mustache catches over his skin. “What are you doing?” he asks. He presses back against John. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John sighs contently and murmurs, “Need a hug.” His fingertips dance over the muscular swell of Duncan’s pectoral muscles, swirling mindless patterns over scarred flesh and stroking against the hair he finds. He noses Duncan’s shoulder before pressing a kiss into it. “I miss you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I miss you too,” Duncan replies softly. He clasps his hand over John’s, tangling their fingers together before kissing his knuckles. “I’m always here for you.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know.” John tightens his hold on Duncan’s hand, gripping a bit too hard. “I’m sorry that I get like this so often. It shouldn’t matter now but I can’t just... stop being anxious.” Frustration creeps into his voice and he exhales heavily, warm breath tickling the back of Duncan’s neck. “I‘m trying to get over it. I just don’t think I can get better.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Duncan cranes his neck to look back at John, barely able to make out his features under the pale moonlight. As his eyesight adjusts he finds two brown eyes sadly staring back at him. He pushes John’s hands away and rolls over to face him, opening his arms to him. “Come here,” he instructs, heart aching for the other man. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John moves slowly, as if ashamed of his emotions. He tucks his head into Duncan’s bare chest as arms wrap around him and practically cradle him. His eyes sting with the onslaught of tears and it isn’t long before he’s quietly weeping into Duncan’s chest, smearing moisture against him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s a strange predicament for Duncan to act as a person of comfort when he’s acted as a harbinger of death and pain for decades. He feels out of place and unsure, feebly holding John in his arms, but he supposed John feels the same as he sobs into his chest. Being this vulnerable feels wrong and it makes his stomach churn with a mixture of disgust and curiosity.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry.” John’s lips and facial hair tickle as he mumbles into Duncan’s chest. “I don’t mean to act like such a child. I just — I don’t know.” He looks to Duncan with furrowed eyebrows and wet cheeks. “I don’t think I recall having the chance to experience emotions to cry or be taken care of this way before retiring. It feels like everything is boiling over and I’m being burnt from the inside.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When was the last time you could feel this way?” Duncan doesn’t know why he asks but it feels important in order to offer support.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t know.” John inches his right hand to his mouth and presses his thumb to his lower lip. “It’s been a while. Doesn’t matter; it was too long ago. I’m a different person now.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wiping drying tears from John’s face, Duncan says, “It can’t be that hard to remember. We aren’t that old.” He smooths a hand through dark hair, a strangely comforting gesture that seems to put John at ease. He watches the tension release from the other man’s body, face softening and body becoming pliant next to him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John closes his eyes as though deep in thought and is silent for several pulsing moments before saying, “When I was a kid. That’s when I was last allowed to show emotions.” His eyes twinkled with hurt when he looked to Duncan, waiting for a reaction.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John’s childhood is something that is shrouded in mystery to Duncan and probably to John himself. It had always seemed to be a sore subject even before they’d known each other well so Duncan never pried. What he knows feels like an invasion of privacy and he isn’t sure if he wanted to know more. But he understands that something happened prior to his gruesome career that left an effect on him. It isn’t his job to figure it out and John doesn’t need to explain himself. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Duncan cups John’s face in his hand and leans forward, hesitantly hovering over him in a silent request for his consent. John initiates the kiss, a chaste press of lips and prickly facial hair rubbing against sensitive skin. They spend a few moments like this, John pushing into Duncan’s touch as tender kisses are peppered across his face. It’s an innocuous loving moment, until it isn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Daddy.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Duncan kisses his cheeks, John slides a thumb into his mouth and releases a muffled sound. “Daddy.” Duncan instinctively pulls away, expecting the worst. John removes the digit and says, “Don’t stop,” in a small voice. His chest rises and falls rapidly. “Please don’t.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Duncan notices the layer of sweat forming on John’s skin, the way he slightly shakes and his labored breath. He snakes his hand down his body and reaches between his legs, ghosting over John’s crotch as he waits for permission. John gives a small curt nod and Duncan palms his through his underwear, finding him hard and sensitive. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John sucks his thumb into his mouth again, pushing into Duncan’s touch desperately. He lets out soft mewls and whines as he is groped and tries to push the invading hand beneath the fabric of his boxer briefs. Duncan can feel his body temperature rising and the effects it has on him; just watching and pleasuring John is sparking arousal in him. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulls his hand away, earning a surprised groan and watery eyes. “Daddy, please,” John slurs around his thumb. He brings his other hand to his chest, rubbing over one of his nipples to get a reaction. Duncan grunts and allows John to pinch and squeeze at his hardened nipples. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not going anywhere,” Duncan gasps out. “Just give me a moment.” He pulls away and hastily reaches for the bedside drawer to find lubricant but is drawn back down by a hand firmly wrapped around his neck. “John...”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lay down. Please.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Duncan dubiously raises an eyebrow but obeys, slowly sinking into the mattress with his face pressed into a pillow. John spreads his legs apart and slid between them, pressing into him and grinding with purpose. His movements are frantic and rough, nails digging into hairy muscular thighs and hands leaving a bruising grip, but Duncan is enjoying the reversal of roles. It feels good, like being fucked without having to be penetrated. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> When Duncan notices John bringing a hand to cover his mouth, he’s quick to place his own fingers against his lips. John immediately opens his mouth and laps at them, suckling them as he moans. “Good boy,” Duncan croons. He wraps his legs around John’s waist and pulls him closer. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John pulls away too soon before either of them can finish. Duncan groans and his cock gives a twitch, still confined in its underwear. He begins to remove them but John slaps his hands away, opting to strip him himself. As John pulls out his own erect cock, Duncan warns, “If you’re going to fuck me, you’ll have to use lube. I’m not an experienced bottom.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John hums in response to Duncan and flips him over, pressing his face into the mattress. As a knee jerk reaction, Duncan tries to sit up only to find sharp teeth digging into his back and a hard cock pressing at the crease of his ass. The bite becomes a kiss as John grabs his sides and resumes humping against him, murmuring nonsense sounds. As John pushes against Duncan, he presses the other man’s member into the mattress, relieving the pressure building and offering him pleasure. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Duncan suddenly understands what this is and pushes back to meet John’s movements, rutting against the mattress’s rumpled sheets. His face is hot as he dribbles precum and arches his back, wordlessly begging to be fucked harder. “Go on, baby. You won’t break me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s easier when people are rough with him: it’s what he knows best. But John is anything but rough even when he takes control like this. He takes his time to give Duncan proper attention, reaching beneath his belly to stroke his cock and nipples and kissing any skin that was within reaching distance. Somehow it’s more torturous to be loved this way. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John finishes with a muffled cry of “Daddy!” and sloppily grinds against Duncan, smearing his release into his skin. His hand shakes as he continues to touch Duncan, licking his fingers back into his mouth. Duncan orgasms with John’s mouth enclosed around his fingers, a hand wrapped around his cock and two fingers rolling a nipple. He dribbles against the sheets and makes a noise that would be shameful if here were with anyone else. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">John collapses atop him with a satiated groan and releases Duncan’sfingers from his reddened lips. He kisses his hand before pulling away to wipe away his spend using discarded underwear. The soiled garment is thrown them near the laundry hamper somewhere in the corner of their bedroom. Duncan watches sleepily as John pulls the blanket back over their bodies and rests against him, drifting into sleep. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i didn’t have a title so i ripped it from deftones’ swerve city</p></blockquote></div></div>
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